Spring Band, Boing Boing!

Hello my brothers and sisters

First of all, we of the Leland Stanford Junior University Marching Band would like to say that we are proud of both of our basketball teams. Thank you, Men's and Women's Basketball, for representing our university (including us hacks with the instruments) with class and fine athleticism.

Now that Basketball Season is over, it's time for the greatest mash-up in the history of the world. Spring + Band = SPRING BAND!!!!!!!!!!!!
Spring Band is the LSJUMB's mercenary faction. Spring Band has no sporting event obligations, so it is free to wander around the Bay Area, playing for birthday parties, weddings, wakes, gun shows, and more. Fine weather (practically guaranteed) and Fun (guaranteed, or your money and Open Bar back) abound. It's an exciting time to be playing an instrument in tacky, awful clothing. We never know what's going to happen. For every game of downhill bowling outside a birthday party in San Francisco (true story), there is getting locked inside the fence during the lunch hour at a construction site (also a true story).

You can get a taste of Spring Band this very weekend! On Saturday at 6 pm in the Stanford Stadium there is the annual Stanford Football "Cardinal vs. White" Spring Game. It's like October in April! Neat! We'll be there. Come out.

Also on Saturday, in the early morning (between 8 and 9 am? No one tells me anything) Band is playing for Stanford Relay for Life. Come out and read the stories of Friday Night in exhausted Tenrz' faces.

And next weekend? DAVIS DAY. Get ready Davis, we are coming to rock you.

Peace.
The LSJUMB

WHERE ARE WE GOING?

THE FINAL FOUR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!












(Spokane/Houston recap coming soon. In the meantime, get psyched.)

Divvy up the Band

Hello and welcome once again to the Stanford Bland Bog.

This is the first blog post actually written IN THE BAND SHAK! Why has it taken so long for us to write from our smelly, messy, dearly beloved HQ? Probably because most of the time when we're here we're just having too much fun to sit in front of a boring old computer (no offense, Shakputer). Today however, Shak is empty. It's just me sitting at Shakputer, drinking Capri Sun and listening to Flogging Molly, so I'm getting down to some bloggin'. But why is Shak so devoid of its usual Funk and joviality? Because tomorrow one half of Band flies to Spokane, WA and the other flies to Houston, TX. That's right, both of our basketball teams have advanced to the Sweet 16, and Band has to execute the demanding "Split Band" maneuver, bringing funk to the funk-less in two locations. Sometimes this seems like a daunting task, to rock paint off the walls in two Western states, but then we think "Leland Stanford conquered the American West, and so can we -- and without all the shady business practices." (Though not, perhaps, without labor exploitation; Band essentially works for no more than a per diem/taco money.)

So there you have it. Each half of Band is furiously packing (wait, we can legally bring how much liquid onto a plane?), and one half is trying to figure out what to wear in Spokane (it's not going to be as warm there as it is here, nope nope).

I leave you now because I too must prepare for the trek to the North (Sorry Houston; your favorite celebrity blogger will try to make it out next time.)

Playing Catch-Up

Hello Dear Friends.

We got word that violence has been breaking out around the nation because we never got around to telling you folks how Dollie Day '08 turned out. We apologize for sucking. It "won't" happen again.

Some people who don't suck nearly as much as your LSJUMB bloggers are the DOLLIES 2008-2009. Woooooo! They are (numbered according to ascending height order, natch):

Dollie #1: Jennifer Lee
Dollie #2: Ali Romer
Dollie #3: Taylor Phillips
Dollie #4: Sydney Gulbronson
Dollie #5: Taylor Thibodeaux

New Dollies are awesome, but they officially begin their term in May, so we'll talk more about them later.

Now we invite you to wonder what could make the Tenrz yell obscenities at the Toobs, make a former drum major crawl on the ground and cry like a little girl, and get twenty people suddenly crammed in a bathroom.  Ha, no it isn't Bacardi 151 (at least not this time...).  We're talking about the Toobz-initiated Toobz 'n' Tenrz Dollie Day Hot Wing Challenge.  Everyone knows the Tenrz are a bunch of self-absorbed sissies, but they think they're pretty tough, so they stepped up to the plate when we bet we could eat more hot wings than they could.  What they didn't know was that "hot wings" was a comically severe understatement.  Toobz sexion leader M.R. spiced up his wings with Dave's Insanity Sauce.  The Toobz knew this, and ate the same wings to preserve the illusion of a friendly contest, but the Tenrz launched themselves a little too enthusiastically into the challenge, guaranteeing their doom.  Thirty seconds later, cries of "My face is burning!" and "Why, Toobz, why?" filled the air as scorched bandies spilled out of the Shak, looking for a hose.  Habanero-sauce hand prints covered the bathroom walls as twenty people crowded around the sinks. (When the powers that be said "No showers in Shak," they really didn't understand the significance of their decision.)  It was a great Dollie Day.

Also, Dollie Day '08 yielded a significant discovery.  The discovery was "Me And The Cap'ns," a delicious new breakfast beverage/cereal.  The recipe appears below.  (Eat out of a bowl, with a spoon, natch.  Also, you have to say "Me and the cap'ns make it happen! - and you have to mean it.)


Me And The Cap'ns was a big hit.  Two thumbs up.

Okay, time to bring this entry to a close, because Finals Week is upon us.  That means it's time to study real hard before we take our finals on the road as we jet off to play for some NCAA Tournament Basketball.  Woo! Go Card!

Good pub

Greetings, friends and foes. Winter quarter is winding down and we're busier than ever, with both the men's and women's basketball teams heading to the postseason. The IVs are flowing for exhausted bandies. But we've still had a pretty good week.

A few months ago, Pat Forde of ESPN.com wrote a college basketball "bucket list" that included performing as the Tree. So we thought, "Hey, cool!" and went back to playing Guitar Hero. And then we thought, "Hey, we should invite him!" So we did. Last Thursday, Forde came to and hung out with the Band, and was the Tree for the first half of the men's basketball game against Washington. He also conducted "White Punks on Dope" after the game. Forde is a great guy, and he seemed to have even more fun with us than we had hosting him, which is saying something. He wrote a glowing article about us that was on the front page of the men's basketball section of ESPN.com (see screenshot!) for all of Thursday, and was also the main story on the front page for most of the day, too.

Needless to say we're pretty excited about it. It's not every day someone writes really nice things about you on the front page of a big-time, national website. And it's nice to get the word out that we're not terrible, cannibalistic devil-worshipers...or most everyone besides the mellz, that is.

The Gathering Storm

Hello Humanfolk and clever Animalfolk!

I'm writing this entry solo, but your new favorite blogger Sweet Cheeks is with me in spirit. He may even edit this post or post something new later. Won't that be a treat?

We are sorry that we haven't written much lately; there just hasn't been that much to report, as our weeks lately have been basketball, basketball, basketball. If you haven't kept up with Card Hoops this season, or maybe you have never heard of basketball, we recommend http://gostanford.cstv.com/ Read up, fill that brain with knowledge.

We did participate in the San Jose Vietnamese Spring Festival Parade over the weekend; that was a fun time, despite Band Management making us get out of bed way earlier than we had to. Our comrades from the North, Davis Band, showed up. In the staging area we were sandwiched between Davis and the local branch of the Galactic Empire, so we played "Throne Room Fanfare" from the very end of Episode 4 (A New Hope). The stormtroopers were very impressed. Then Davis played a much lamer song from Episode 1. Good try Davis, better luck next time. We look forward to rocking out on your turf in April.

By now you might be wondering what the title of this post refers to. It refers to this coming weekend, the biggest weekend in the Band calendar. Yes, it's DOLLIE WEEKEND 2008. It's time to pick our new Dollies, who will begin their term in May. The weekend's festivities are like a school carnival, Festivus, and a monster truck rally tossed together in a giant burrito of mayhem and liver-punishment. It is a time for each sexion to prove its worth. There can be no backing down when, for instance, the Toobz challenge your sexion to drink a bacon milkshake. Was the bacon cooked before it went in the blender? You can only hope that it was. Perhaps this is the year that someone will prove that it is possible to drink an entire box of Capri Suns and keep it down. On top of all this metaphorical bear-wrestling, there is the strenuous process of deciding of who will be the next Fab Five. The new Dollies must be brainy Stanford women with dance skills to pay the bills, where the bills are the national debt. They must be capable of making the U$C Song Girls look bad in every way. Most importantly and difficultly, they have to be able to roll with The One, The Only, The Truly Incomparable Leland Stanford Junior University Marching Band. Godspeed to all the ProDos* who advance to the Battle Royale, Dollie Day 2008.

Brace Yourself!
The LSJUMB

*Prospective Dollies, duh.

Bandquet 08, the end.

We have seen horrors.

Congratulations to the Bonz, most improved sexion 2007, and the Tenrs, best sexion 2007.

Now we begin the process of forgetting how much of a circus Bandquet '08 was. Bandquet '09, here we come.