Divvy up the Band

Hello and welcome once again to the Stanford Bland Bog.

This is the first blog post actually written IN THE BAND SHAK! Why has it taken so long for us to write from our smelly, messy, dearly beloved HQ? Probably because most of the time when we're here we're just having too much fun to sit in front of a boring old computer (no offense, Shakputer). Today however, Shak is empty. It's just me sitting at Shakputer, drinking Capri Sun and listening to Flogging Molly, so I'm getting down to some bloggin'. But why is Shak so devoid of its usual Funk and joviality? Because tomorrow one half of Band flies to Spokane, WA and the other flies to Houston, TX. That's right, both of our basketball teams have advanced to the Sweet 16, and Band has to execute the demanding "Split Band" maneuver, bringing funk to the funk-less in two locations. Sometimes this seems like a daunting task, to rock paint off the walls in two Western states, but then we think "Leland Stanford conquered the American West, and so can we -- and without all the shady business practices." (Though not, perhaps, without labor exploitation; Band essentially works for no more than a per diem/taco money.)

So there you have it. Each half of Band is furiously packing (wait, we can legally bring how much liquid onto a plane?), and one half is trying to figure out what to wear in Spokane (it's not going to be as warm there as it is here, nope nope).

I leave you now because I too must prepare for the trek to the North (Sorry Houston; your favorite celebrity blogger will try to make it out next time.)

Playing Catch-Up

Hello Dear Friends.

We got word that violence has been breaking out around the nation because we never got around to telling you folks how Dollie Day '08 turned out. We apologize for sucking. It "won't" happen again.

Some people who don't suck nearly as much as your LSJUMB bloggers are the DOLLIES 2008-2009. Woooooo! They are (numbered according to ascending height order, natch):

Dollie #1: Jennifer Lee
Dollie #2: Ali Romer
Dollie #3: Taylor Phillips
Dollie #4: Sydney Gulbronson
Dollie #5: Taylor Thibodeaux

New Dollies are awesome, but they officially begin their term in May, so we'll talk more about them later.

Now we invite you to wonder what could make the Tenrz yell obscenities at the Toobs, make a former drum major crawl on the ground and cry like a little girl, and get twenty people suddenly crammed in a bathroom.  Ha, no it isn't Bacardi 151 (at least not this time...).  We're talking about the Toobz-initiated Toobz 'n' Tenrz Dollie Day Hot Wing Challenge.  Everyone knows the Tenrz are a bunch of self-absorbed sissies, but they think they're pretty tough, so they stepped up to the plate when we bet we could eat more hot wings than they could.  What they didn't know was that "hot wings" was a comically severe understatement.  Toobz sexion leader M.R. spiced up his wings with Dave's Insanity Sauce.  The Toobz knew this, and ate the same wings to preserve the illusion of a friendly contest, but the Tenrz launched themselves a little too enthusiastically into the challenge, guaranteeing their doom.  Thirty seconds later, cries of "My face is burning!" and "Why, Toobz, why?" filled the air as scorched bandies spilled out of the Shak, looking for a hose.  Habanero-sauce hand prints covered the bathroom walls as twenty people crowded around the sinks. (When the powers that be said "No showers in Shak," they really didn't understand the significance of their decision.)  It was a great Dollie Day.

Also, Dollie Day '08 yielded a significant discovery.  The discovery was "Me And The Cap'ns," a delicious new breakfast beverage/cereal.  The recipe appears below.  (Eat out of a bowl, with a spoon, natch.  Also, you have to say "Me and the cap'ns make it happen! - and you have to mean it.)


Me And The Cap'ns was a big hit.  Two thumbs up.

Okay, time to bring this entry to a close, because Finals Week is upon us.  That means it's time to study real hard before we take our finals on the road as we jet off to play for some NCAA Tournament Basketball.  Woo! Go Card!

Good pub

Greetings, friends and foes. Winter quarter is winding down and we're busier than ever, with both the men's and women's basketball teams heading to the postseason. The IVs are flowing for exhausted bandies. But we've still had a pretty good week.

A few months ago, Pat Forde of ESPN.com wrote a college basketball "bucket list" that included performing as the Tree. So we thought, "Hey, cool!" and went back to playing Guitar Hero. And then we thought, "Hey, we should invite him!" So we did. Last Thursday, Forde came to and hung out with the Band, and was the Tree for the first half of the men's basketball game against Washington. He also conducted "White Punks on Dope" after the game. Forde is a great guy, and he seemed to have even more fun with us than we had hosting him, which is saying something. He wrote a glowing article about us that was on the front page of the men's basketball section of ESPN.com (see screenshot!) for all of Thursday, and was also the main story on the front page for most of the day, too.

Needless to say we're pretty excited about it. It's not every day someone writes really nice things about you on the front page of a big-time, national website. And it's nice to get the word out that we're not terrible, cannibalistic devil-worshipers...or most everyone besides the mellz, that is.