What a long strange trip it's about to be

Hey there rabblerousers, it's been long, too long since your old pal Shotgun filled that blog void in your life and in this exciting time to be alive no less. Unlike those past blog posts, which were more functions of explosive diarrhea shrapnel hitting the keyboard hard enough to for something semi-coherent, this one has actual content in it, so let's take the red pill and see just how far down the rabbit hole goes (I can't believe that movie's 10 years old either. Speaking of which, it's got a fantastic drinking game that goes with it, but another time).

BULLET POINT ACTION

• After witnessing the women's team assert its soul-crushing dominance over THE Ohio State University (a bit of a conflicting moment for this central Ohio native) and AN Iowa State University, the band gained enough experience points to level up to the Final Four in St. Lou. Those luckier than I can tell you what exactly went down. All I can tell you is that UConn's treachery even extends to the band arena where they paid off the "officials" to steal our rightful Battle of the Bands trophy that we had so gloriously conquered last year.
• Right after, and we do mean right after folks, came the lovely spring tradition known as [Insert Drum Major's name here]'s First Rehearsal. This year, the lucky victim was Byron Vosburg, a wide-eyed, idealistic charge who ascended to the not-podium with visions of working "Aqualung" deep into the night and hammering the ending of "Boogie Down" into our brains to the point of submission, only to be woken up by that shrill annoying sound that either was the alarm clock of reality or the altoz attempting to start "Peace of Mind". Either way, the Band takes the first rehearsal of a drum major to assert that even though (s)he may have some imaginary military ranktitle thing, it carries as much weight with the Band as it would on pre-Napoleon Animal Farm. And so the Band sallied forth a nexus of songs that was as seamless (and impenetrable) as a MacBook exterior. Also we threw pickle juice at him.
• WE INTERRUPT THIS BLOG POST FOR A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT. Hi there folks, it's Shotgun again, but this time let me be frank with you (preferably of the Ball Park variety). For those of you that actually still attend this so-called university, you may have noticed that it's election season. Now normally, election season is a time for ironic detachment, damning the man, and secretly wondering if the sophomore class president slate is actually more popular than you, or just more adept at making flyers. I know this blogger is too busy making trite analogies to past presidential elections and sports teams to actually engage in the process, but unfortunately in order to continue to exist, the Band must bow and scrape at the altar of the masses in the form of asking for special fees from the ASSU. And so I must ask you, the students and those still pulling an Azia Kim, to vote for the Band for special fees, and give us that glorious money that we covet so much, I mean so we can keep on rockin' out. Another beseechment, please don't ask for your money back later. Otherwise we'll track you down and make you explain to little Billy why he can't have his saxophone fixed after some drunk frat guy ran into it at Band Run. Just look at little Billy's eyes! You know playing that saxophone is the only thing that keeps his cancerous grandma still breathing. The more you know! *cue wooshing star* AND NOT BLACK TO OUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED BLOGGING (and no that was not a typo).
• And so I says to him "Wrecked him? Why yes that is the last part of the diges-oh wait is thing still on? Oh right, this weekend brings something of a rarity to the Band, a brand new experience. This weekend, the Band is road-trippin' it up some strange land known only to the natives as "Sea-attle" for something known as HonkFest West! HonkFest is apparently a festival for unconventional marching bands out in Mass. and last year the organizing folks must have learned about Lewis and Clarke because they decided to open up an ancillary on the Pacific side. Through a casual browsing of the Series of Tubes (or Tӧӧbz as the case may be) the Band stumbled upon their little shindig and thought we could find a home (look for yourself at http://honkfestwest.com/ You might see us right on the front page) and a few/lot of emails later BAM! we're renting vans and super-exclusive cliques are trying to claim their own. My brothers and sisters in the Band Members that Like to Eat PB&J Sandwiches Inside Out have already got our van (as we should, we're kind of a big deal). Will we be ready for it? Will they be ready for us? Do we all have sleeping bags? Is it a federal offense to drive across state lines without wearing pants? These are all questions that will be answered soon enough.
  

Until then though, I must bid you all adieu as my latest effort of procrastination draws to a close.


Oh, just one more thing. The Band now has a the Facebook page. http://www.facebook.com/pages/Leland-Stanford-Junior-University-Marching-Band/79838435759?ref=nf
Go look at it. Be friends with us. Listen to music. Go through the track listing of all of our albums. Leave us threatening wall message. Just please drive up our page views for God's sake. We thrive on those almost as much as we thrive on Capri Sun.