Pahk the cah at Hahvahd squay-ah

"You want us to play at your wedding? We play at weddings, where is it? Martha's Vineyard? Oh wow, that's kind of far away... you'll cover the entire travel expense? Wait, really? That's airfare for about 30 peo...oh, you're an investment banker. Ok."

I assume that one side of a conversation sounded something like this when our manager first got a call about this rally. If not, then it at least played through all of our internal dialogs for an entire weekend, when band traveled to MARTHA'S FREAKIN' VINEYARD to play at a wedding. Wait, did I say wedding? I meant wedding party. Oops, I meant REHEARSAL DINNER. That's right, somebody shelled out the big bucks to transport 30 people from San Francisco to Boston to Martha's Vineyard, and house us for two nights. A few stragglers like me flew in separately (I was home in Iowa), and we picked up a few locals along the way, but still. It was ridiculous.

We were so hyped up on the absurdity of the situation that even the rain couldn't dampen our spirits. And it rained a lot on the island. Even the awkward bus stop in the middle of a pitch-black field at night couldn't bring us down, although some began to suspect that this trip was an elaborate plot by a very wealthy enemy to assassinate the band. Thankfully the ninjas only managed to take out a few drums before band subdued them. We eventually made it to the rehearsal dinner, where we proceeded to rock the fancy pants off every member of the audience. Afterwards, the hosts treated us to some of their fine beverages while we socialized with the German dancers (Sie tragen Lederhosen). Eventually we made it back to our house(s) for the night, ate lobster, hung out with our awesome groundskeeper Spike, smoked cigars, and passed out.

We found our way back to the mainland the next day. We figured those poor bastards up at Hahvahd could use some funk, so we rallied around Cambridge and on their campus. They, of course, loved us. Punks chant : "It's not too late / To transfer schools!" Then we flew home. The end.