A few quick bullet points, IN BULLET TIME

*cue Vivaldi's Spring*

Why hello there folks, and welcome to Masterblog Theater. I'm Shotgun, and today we'll delving into a few delightful short stories in our ongoing series on the Band.

• FIRST, as our manager's birthday present to himself, and through the good graces of SBAB, we are proud to announce that the Shak now has an A/V system. What what what?? That's right folks. Now we can blast Thunderstruck through the entire reinforced concrete structure. Oh 'tis truly a glorious day. What's more, our rehearsal hall now has a projector and giant screen. We are still debating which piece of cinema deserves to christen our precious system. Personally, I've been lobbying for The Emperor's New Groove 3: The Groove's Return to Stella. That or Office Sluts 9.65, a true classic.
• B. The tree was featured in a compromising photo on the sports blog most blamed for the nation's decline, Deadspin. (Article found here) Being the ever faithful PR that I am (what's that, boy? Someone's blaming us for 1982 again? And Billy's stuck in the well? Well, let's go!) I sent a letter to the editor providing some context, as well as gratuitous Simpsons references, and it turns out the old chap is a local and even frequents the Oasis. A good fellow I should say. I like the cut of his jib. He ran the letter on Deadspin (right m'yah), and we may be doing further correspondence.
• Gamma. Both basketball teams won yesterday (Huzzah!) keeping the men's' tournament dreams alive and further discrediting the notion of parity for the women. The men take on Oregon State at home tomorrow, though this PR won't be there, for I t'will be on dorm ski trip to Tahoe, which makes me doubly sad because I had a whole host of Obama-related heckles I was planning to level at the coach. Ah well, I'm sure 6th Man will pick up the slack.

And with those quick li'l blog nuggets I bid you adieu as the Band goes to play at our squash team's first EVER home match. The acoustics should be incredible. Bandquet is imminent, approaching on the horizon, and surely looking like the apocalypse to Beefeaters, the eating club that is lending its space to us. We only hope that this time around there won't be any bollard-related casualties.

Until then,
Courage