Big Game Week 07: A Look Back Part III

Today in the blog we have a short interview with newly-Former Band Manager Adam "(AC) Slater" Cohen.

So man, you're not in charge of Band anymore. What's next for you?

Lotta workin, lotta sleepin. Lotta drinkin. Lotta makin fun of Liz, mostly.

How old does being an ex-manager make you feel?

The other day I was talking to my roommate, who's a Ph.D. student, and I cracked a joke about grad students and their bike helmets. He said, "hey, you're a grad student now." It took me about 2 days to recover. True story.

Let's say the entire new Band staph died from eating poison tacos on their staph retreat, and the rest of Band said "Hey Slater ol' buddy, we need you to be manager again." What would you say to that?

I think there are some Stanford administrators who might have something to say about that. I would not be surprised if some of them preferred zombie-taco-poison Liz to me. I would say no, and then someone would convince Mike Priest* to do it. He's the one with the martyr complex anyway.

*Note: Mike Priest, who has been mentioned twice in this blog (and more to come, probably) is a former Band Manager and trumpet player. Mike graduated and has a "real job" now, but that does not stop us from using him as the subject of jokes.

Is it true that former managers get to join a special club in a secret clubhouse that has bearskin rugs, a pinball machine, and a viewing window to laugh at the new manager?

Yes. It's called the Asshole farm, and all I can tell you is that there is a secret entrance to it in the Adventureland section of Disneyland. I got my key last week. Oh, and the viewing window is more of a CCTV camera system, but the principle is the same.

I hear that Band managers often get nightmares during their terms of office. Did any dreadful fantasies plague your slumber?

I swear on my mother I am not making this up. About 3 weeks before Big Game, I had a dream that a certain member of the Athletic Department, whom I will not name on the outside chance that this gets back to that person and makes Liz's life more difficult, showed up to the Shak right before a Monday rehearsal with a bottle of Glenlivet. You see, it turns out that all of the antagonism that this person showed the Band was actually a result of him being insulted that we had never invited him to perform with us! So, he had brought me a peace offering of scotch whiskey -- which we shared, of course -- and wanted to give Snare drum a shot. And then everyone lived happily ever after. Waking up after realizing that my brain had just created this horrible, horrible image was one of the most terrifying moments of my life. I still haven't fully recovered.


Well folks, that just may wrap up our BGW 07 coverage. Fun stuff from that epic week may still trickle in, but for the most part we are going to move onwards and upwards to a variety of coverage of Band's adventures during Winter Quarter.

Love,
The LSJUMB