Meet the Sweets

Hello Literate Public

As you may have realized, I, Coop, have done the vast majority of the blogging for the one, the only, the etc. LJSJUMB.

But as alluded to in an earlier post, I, Coop, have been replaced (although not, for once, due to gross incompetence) as the LSJUMB's PR Coordinator. Replacing me, Coop, is everyone's favorite curly-haired, glasses-wearin' Ithacan sportsman, Scott "SweetCheeks" Bland. He, Scott, is currently practicing with the rest of the band in the rehearsal hall, while I, Coop, blog about him without his knowledge. Here is a picture of him, Scott, in which you can see his, Scott's, sweet, sweet cheeks.

See those cheeks? I challenge you to find sweeter cheeks than his, Scott's.

But what makes him, Scott, everyone's favorite guy? Well for starters, he, Scott, plans to declare for the NBA Draft this spring. He comes with a lot of upside and holds the distinction of having dunked on Brook Lopez. He, Scott, is currently preparing the paperwork.

He, Scott is also the Trumpz Sexion Leader. Remember when I, Coop, told you about their, the Trumpz' Big Game project, the hot dog cart? Well they, the Trumpz, were a little careless and left a cooler full of hot dogs in the Band Shak over Winter Break. Now as Sexion Leader, he, Scott, must figure out what to do with the cooler, which emits a stench that is as
Oh crap band has to go rally the prospective Dollies. I, Coop, will finish this later.

Okay, back. Anyway, cooler full of rancid hot dogs, smells very bad, blah blah blah.

In conclusion, he, Scott, would be a great asset to the NBA because of his freakishly long arms.

Love,
I, Coop

(Even though this post introduces SweetCheeks as a new guy who will be blogging here, I'm going to keep posting at least up until June. Angry letters demanding that I step down may be sent to Scott Bland.)