Bandquet 08, the end.

We have seen horrors.

Congratulations to the Bonz, most improved sexion 2007, and the Tenrs, best sexion 2007.

Now we begin the process of forgetting how much of a circus Bandquet '08 was. Bandquet '09, here we come.

Asshole off the mic

Slideshow over. 60 yays, 2997 boos.

Slater is on the mic, for perhaps the last time. He is presentting our yearly awards. Oh, the humanity! The rabbi is becoming ever more belligerent!!! He and the milk have just come to blows, only to be separated by Mario and Luigi!!! Exclamation points!!!!!!!

Cooper accepts awards on behalf of both himself and former PR Sammy Franco.  God bless Sammy Franco, wherever he is.  Probably at home in Terra, watching cartoons.

Plotz and Patchez are loudly applauded for their long, hard...turgid...efforts to put a cock and balls on the football field at every opprotunity.

Management is getting pelted with missiles right now. We've always wanted to see the entire Band rumble against the U$C band or someone, but it looks like we might have to live out a civil war first. Coop and I are retreating to an undisclosed location.

The slideshow has begun. A montage of everything the Band has done for the past year is flashing past our eyes. Swiss Army knife Buster is met with approval, as are the Dollies...approximately 350 times. Dan Meyer practicing the Banner solo and getting PB&Js made on his foot at high resolution is regretted mightily by everyone. Stanford Marching Cardinal pictures are lustily acclaimed, never more so than when the Tree knocks us all over and we experience the Second Coming of the real LSJUMB.

There are far too few pictures of the Trumpz in this album. Sadly, Buster's conflagration in the Quad was not captured.

This is tiring. I'll give you a more general play-by-play:

Yay. Yaaaay! Yaaaaay! Booooo! Yaaaay! Boooooooooo! Boooooooo! Booooooo! Boooooooo! Yaaaaay! Peeeeennnnissss!

More coming up, soon.

From Coop: A quick summary of the slidwhow so far:

Dollies: popular!

the Altoz: not so popular!

Banduet 08 more live coverage!

Will someone please tell that rabbi to quit yelling at everyone?!  Uh oh, Rabbi just shoved the giant milk carton!  Giant milk must have tried to mix with Giant MEat!  

Uh oh, Band is boooing!  The people "in charge" must want us to do something!  Stay tuned!

Bandquet 08 Live Coverge Continues!

It's officially a party - the clergy showed up! No, wait! She's no nun, she's in Band! 

I haven't seen so many bandies in one place in a long time.  Where were these bums during football season?!

Whao, crazy! Vinny and a tenr have switched coats! It's madness!

Stay tuned, slideshow and general merriment forthcoming!

Live from BANDQUET, 2008

Greetings, citizens of Funkytown. Cooper and I are blogging to you live from Bandquet, our annual dinner and awards ceremony. A carton of milk has just walked in to the last strains of the Dirty Limerick. Also in attendance tonight are a lumberjack, five Hershey's kisses, and two drones being controlled via remote from the Athletic Department. First chance we have, they're getting dunked and short-circuited in the Blue Moon.

Stay tuned for more. The awards are coming up, the beers are going down, and the genitals are a-flyin'. It's Bandquet, 2008, live on the LSJUMB Bogl! Watch for the spelling mistakes to skyrocket as the evening goes on.

Meet the Sweets

Hello Literate Public

As you may have realized, I, Coop, have done the vast majority of the blogging for the one, the only, the etc. LJSJUMB.

But as alluded to in an earlier post, I, Coop, have been replaced (although not, for once, due to gross incompetence) as the LSJUMB's PR Coordinator. Replacing me, Coop, is everyone's favorite curly-haired, glasses-wearin' Ithacan sportsman, Scott "SweetCheeks" Bland. He, Scott, is currently practicing with the rest of the band in the rehearsal hall, while I, Coop, blog about him without his knowledge. Here is a picture of him, Scott, in which you can see his, Scott's, sweet, sweet cheeks.

See those cheeks? I challenge you to find sweeter cheeks than his, Scott's.

But what makes him, Scott, everyone's favorite guy? Well for starters, he, Scott, plans to declare for the NBA Draft this spring. He comes with a lot of upside and holds the distinction of having dunked on Brook Lopez. He, Scott, is currently preparing the paperwork.

He, Scott is also the Trumpz Sexion Leader. Remember when I, Coop, told you about their, the Trumpz' Big Game project, the hot dog cart? Well they, the Trumpz, were a little careless and left a cooler full of hot dogs in the Band Shak over Winter Break. Now as Sexion Leader, he, Scott, must figure out what to do with the cooler, which emits a stench that is as
Oh crap band has to go rally the prospective Dollies. I, Coop, will finish this later.

Okay, back. Anyway, cooler full of rancid hot dogs, smells very bad, blah blah blah.

In conclusion, he, Scott, would be a great asset to the NBA because of his freakishly long arms.

Love,
I, Coop

(Even though this post introduces SweetCheeks as a new guy who will be blogging here, I'm going to keep posting at least up until June. Angry letters demanding that I step down may be sent to Scott Bland.)